RANT: Corn Syrup is Not Kosher For Passover (Strong Language)

Since this is supposed to be about sports law, I shouldn't be starting my blog off with a piece about Jewish law, but I am, and for three reasons:

1. A large part of this blog is about pseudo-law, the creation and execution of things that look, taste, and sound like law but are not only because they aren't actual, government law. The NFL rules are laws within the context of an NFL game and this is a similar situation;
2. Wanting to rant about this is what inspired me to get off my ass and actually start this blog; and
3. This is my blog and I can go off track if I want.

Okay, so tonight is the first night of Passover and I was eating some Joyva ring gels, one of my favorite Passover candies, when I looked on the back of the box and saw that they have corn syrup in them. I got pissed off that something saying it was kosher for Passover had corn in it, since corn is a grain and Jewish law is clear on the subject that any grain, legume, or leavening other than matzo is not kosher for Passover.

Then I looked over and I saw another label that says:

PLEASE NOTE: LIQUIFIED LEGUMOUS EXTRACTS, E.G., CORN SYRUP, IN KOSHER FOR PASSOVER FOODS, ARE FULLY SANCTIONED FOR ASHKENAZIM AND SEPHARDIM ALIKE BY PREEMINENT ORTHODOX HALACHIC AUTHORITIES, INCLUDING THE RENOWNED POSEK HADOR, [RABBI] YITZCHAK ELCHANON SPECTOR, ZTL.

What kind of bullshit is this? The Orthodox Union decides that it’s just too Goddamn hard to make food that doesn’t have corn syrup or soy-based emulsifiers in it, so they make them kosher for Passover this year? That’s a cop out and they know it. That’s why they have that little mincing, sheepish, apologetic label on there; because they know it’s wrong but they’re doing it anyway. THAT IS BULLSHIT.

Their rules are arbitrary; there's no good reason for the change. They serve no purpose other than to get people to stop complaining that they have to read ingredient labels for one week out of the year. I’m following Passover the right way and doing everything I can to avoid corn syrup and soy. If they can’t that’s their fault. Just because they don’t want to have to read labels, that doesn’t mean they should make it easier. The point of the Passover fast is that it’s hard. It’s supposed to teach you humility, not just be a minor inconvenience.

Now, because of their arbitrary rule change I have to be even more careful about what I get, because I can no longer trust brands like Joyva, or Manischewitz, or Streit's to actually be kosher for Passover. THIS IS BULLSHIT. THE OU SUCKS AND PEOPLE SUCK FOR GIVING THEM THE POWER TO MAKE RULE CHANGES THAT MAKE NO SENSE.